Title: Musical Mavericks of the 1970s: The Unhinged Creators & Their Madcap Instruments

SUPERTHING
4 min readMay 9, 2023

Fasten your seatbelts, cool cats and kittens! We’re about to embark on another joyride through the kookiest decade of all: the 1970s. Prepare to have your minds blown by these far-out instruments and their wild, eccentric inventors who pushed the limits of conventionality and, quite possibly, sanity. So let’s dive head-first into the zaniest and grooviest creations you never knew you needed.

The Nautical Knob-O-Matic – Invented by: Wolfgang von Hairbender

Ahoy, musical landlubbers! Wolfgang von Hairbender, a rotund and hirsute gentleman with flowing locks, unleashed the Nautical Knob-O-Matic upon the world. Resembling a boat with enough knobs, sliders, and strings to fill the Titanic, this musical monstrosity was perfect for anyone who wanted to sail the high seas of sound. Rumor has it that Wolfgang’s epic hair could be used as an alternative to guitar picks for an especially strident sound.

The Gourdtar of Groove – Invented by: Chuluunbaatar the Vibrant

Feast your eyes on the Gourdtar of Groove, a bright orange gourd-shaped string instrument conceived by the eclectic Mongolian inventor, Chuluunbaatar the Vibrant. Known for its rich and earthy tones, the Gourdtar became a favorite among bohemian musicians and anyone who wanted to bring an exotic twist to their jams. Chuluunbaatar’s inspiration? A legendary Mongolian folk tale featuring a gourd that could summon dragons. Groovy, man.

The Sultry Knobby Greensynth – Invented by: Dr. Enigma Starewell

Who needs subtlety when you can have the Sultry Knobby Greensynth? Its creator, the enigmatic and unnervingly seductive Dr. Enigma Starewell, crafted this peculiar green instrument bristling with knobs. Known for peering into the camera with a sultry gaze, Dr. Starewell’s performances were more hypnotic than a lava lamp. Although the Greensynth’s actual sound remains shrouded in mystery, audiences can’t deny the instrument’s allure. Viewer discretion is advised.

The Double-Decker Organtastic – Invented by: Pierre LeSqueeze

Behold the eye-popping Double-Decker Organtastic, played by Pierre LeSqueeze, a man who never met a skintight blue leather jumpsuit he didn’t like. Featuring two layers of keyboards, a plethora of knobs, and valves galore, this bright yellow organ was both a visual and auditory feast. Its origin? A daring French inventor’s attempt to create the most flamboyant musical instrument known to man. Ooh la la!

The Hedgehog Harmonizer – Invented by: The Tangerine Turtleneckettes

Finally, meet the Hedgehog Harmonizer, the brainchild of the Tangerine Turtleneckettes – four lovely ladies clad in 1970s orange turtleneck dresses. This musical marvel featured silver disks on one side, with zither-like protrusions sticking out like a hedgehog’s spines. The ensemble’s performances were akin to a choreographed sonic ballet as they plucked, strummed, and twirled around the spiky creation. Were the Turtleneckettes musical pioneers or just a flashy gimmick? We’ll let you be the judge.

In conclusion, the 1970s was undoubtedly an era of bizarre and bonkers musical exploration. These eccentric inventors and their audacious creations stand as a testament to the groovy, outlandish, and sometimes outright bewildering experimentation that defined the decade. Whether it’s Wolfgang’s nautical escapades or the Tangerine Turtleneckettes’ prickly performances, there’s no denying that the ‘70s left an indelible mark on the musical landscape.

As we look back, we can’t help but be inspired by these visionaries’ fearlessness and relentless pursuit of the avant-garde. Their zany instruments and unforgettable appearances remind us that sometimes it’s worth stepping out of our comfort zones and embracing the weird and wacky world that exists beyond the boundaries of conformity. So let’s raise a toast to these peculiar pioneers, whose daring creations continue to captivate, perplex, and delight us all. Keep on rockin’, you funky dynamos!

--

--